Last week, the snot continued from Baby O’s teeny tiny nose as a result of a nasty cold which means I naturally got it too. And the week, as a result, hadn’t gone quite as planned because I was plain out of energy. But on Saturday, I decided I would kick some to-do list booty! And I killed it, really. But by the time I got around to bed, I was feeling empty – and physically yucky too. I hadn’t done yoga for my aching body in several days and I definitely hadn’t taken care of my spiritual health either. So I felt a need to revisit some old journal posts (I write in a paper journal occasionally. It holds pieces of wisdom I hear or read that makes an impact on me spiritually). On this day, I read a passage from Jesus Calling, a devotional book by Sarah Young:
“Remember that your ultimate goal is not to control or fix everything around you; it is to keep communing with Me. A successful day is one in which you have stayed in touch with Me, even if many things remain undone at the end of the day. Do not let your to-do list (written or mental) become an idol directing your life. Instead, ask my Spirit to guide you moment by moment.”
Then I shared my struggle to be Mary-like with J. And when I was done, he said:
- This sounds like a blog post. Struggle is part of your journey.
- God didn’t screw up when he made you. He wants you to feel joy in the to-do list. You wouldn’t have enjoyed racing toy cars in the kitchen tonight with O and me if you were a disorganized mess. It’s because you keep our house running that we can enjoy these moments with our little guy.
- You better not be laying on my side of the bed when I come up. I slept terrible last night and I will force ably move you if you get in my space again.” (Alright, so this is irrelevant, but hilarious.)
My husband is full of so much Godly wisdom (and desire for a king size bed). I know for a fact that God speaks to me through this man I was made to spend this life with. So here’s to a check-in of continuing to struggle through the Mary-Martha journey. I started this blog six months ago, and the impact it has made on my life has been encouraging. I’ve always been open to discussing my personal faith journey, but this blog puts it out the open more easily for friends and co-workers to interact with. It allows others to bring up posts they’ve read and we can engage in an authentic conversation about our struggles because I’ve already laid my “junk” out on the table. It’s also forced me to reflect in how I find God in my day-to-day mess because, “I’ve gotta write a blog post this week!” The accountability of having a few readers waiting for the next post keeps me going (and my ridiculous level of self-discipline – a blessing and a curse – doesn’t hurt either).
And I was reminded of a bigger outcome of this blogging experience: I don’t have to be completely like Mary, because God made me to be a Martha. (And to the Mary’s out there: you need a bit of Martha-ness in your life too.) So here’s to another six months of blogging, struggling, and growing. And J continuing to wish for a bigger bed…