I feel like the following should have been included in our wedding vows: “And do you, J, promise to still love Kristin, even when she let’s her crazy out, which will likely happen every other day?” Granted, he already knew the level of crazy I was when he agreed to spend the rest of his life with me, but I feel like a line in the ceremony would have really cemented it, making me feel less guilty when it happened and him less annoyed. Right?! Yeah, right.
So usually my crazy has something to do with him leaving me alone for 4 days straight while he deer hunts, or him insisting the bath towel hangs dry on the laundry hamper, not the towel rack. (That IS crazy, y’all. Who DOES that?!) And last night I got real crazy at about 8:30 PM and decided I had had enough of my nasty oven. So I cleaned it. At 8:30 PM on a Monday night. That’s crazy. But it looks really good now. And I felt like a total rock star.
But I’ve noticed J is helping me handle my crazy better. Once we get home, eat, and clean up the destruction that has occurred post-meal making, he asks me: What needs to get done tonight? This is my opportunity to lay out expectations. And I’ve learned to make all my requests in that moment, because he doesn’t really appreciate it when I come up with more things at 9:15 PM. (I can’t imagine why.) So it’s turned out to be a positive coping strategy for both of us: he helps me identify a manageable about of tasks to complete, and I prioritize what is necessary. And I’ve found that going through that list pre-8:00 PM is in my not-so-desperate time of day (unlike post-8:00 PM, when the baby is asleep and I must accomplish everything there is to do before I can allow myself to go to bed).
The result? I’m going crazy less. And my oven looks good. I’m working on giving myself a break and feeling good about the two things I did get done in an evening, instead of the 17 I wish I had happened. But we still gotta work on the towel thing. I’ll make sure to add that to tonight’s tasks when J asks me what needs to get done.
Lord, thank you for a husband that knows me enough to calm the crazy in our home (and help himself) by making my task list a bit more manageable. I thank you for this relationship as he is helping me to gain perspective on important things, which includes my relationship with you. Help me to recognize the beauty of slowing down and enjoying the extra time with my family, my hobbies, and in your presence.
What is your point of weakness when the crazy comes out? Any coping suggestions?
P.S. Hope you like the photo. It’s Baby O – letting his crazy out. 🙂